11.5.97

i have walked down these roads many times before
i have stripped my body naked hoping for you to explore
i have waited for a change knowing none lay ahead
i have fought with myself arguments
and then felt feelings i always wished you had
i have held a mirror wanting your reflection staring back into me
i have seen you for who i wanted to see
and i have failed to change my me inside of you
when will the peace come to me
when will the drum stop beating the pain and let me feel free
back and forth
a luxury i wished were not my own
stand still movements
trapping every fault i’ve known
i have done all of this and more
i have lost the battle without the war
so why does it bother me so
why do i care when you say hello
perhaps there is an answer i don’t want to admit
perhaps i’m afraid of falling deeper than this