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i hung on to broken strings
i felt the frayed edges against my cheek
i never wanted to fall
i never wanted to see
voices always said
reflections of past repeats in time
but i knew better
i was changing time
i want to damn the history inside of him
i want to scream his name in vain
i want his happiness to stop nourishing my emptiness
my heart bleeds before me puddles of pain
i wrinkle my skin with uncontrollably wet thoughts
i feel traded for a one week fling
and the new card wins
new images are made to be seen
no more secret games
no more hiding of me
all the old rules are gone and none have taken its’ place
i am jealous, i am raged
i wanted to never feel shame
now i lay here humiliated
grieving over what was never mine
sulking over what was made through time
my emotions have been peeled raw
i’m tired of the scabs they cause
before me and behind me lye a trail of untouched tears
kill my memories and reduce the sad
for they only make me feel
feelings he never had